I have not written much about relationships, probably because when people write and would ask me about them I would just stare blankly and move on to the next letter In fact, I am not proud of this, but (apparently) since my theme this week is honesty, I may have even said at one point: “love is for pussies”. Terrible I know, I have since reformed that paradigm, and opened my heart. I blame being an aries. Anyway, relationships and love are a mystery to me but the following concepts have been making trails in my mind lately and perhaps it will make trails in yours: What is chemistry and what does it mean? What is the best way to approach relationships?
It has occurred to me that we can be in the same relationship with different people our entire lives. Many people do just that, not realizing that their relationship is moving in a direct ratio to their ability to personally expand. I have come to know that chemistry is an important, yet mysterious signal from the soul that lets us know there is an crucial journey at hand. If we follow it closely and let it unwind and splash within us perhaps we can experience the highest form of that relationship in our lives. It can be a challenge as chemistry changes form as the relationship grows, but if you get still enough and ask it to show itself it will let you know. For that reason I am inspired to let the relationships in my life be wild, untamed by projections and rules so they can reveal to me their purpose.
Chemistry is a story between two hearts that needs to be played out.
If a karmic story could be a felt moment to moment that feeling would feel like the phenomenon we call chemistry. When people meet, whether it be a friend or more than a friend, hearts collide. When hearts collide they either move right through each other, like passing ghosts, or there is a spark. The spark moves through and like an electrical alarm, it shocks parts of you that you did not know were sleeping. Parts of you that need to grow, or be healed by the medicine that people are to each other.
We are all made of stars
When you feel your heart spark with someone know that you are feeling a story with them, perchance one the two of you wrote a long time ago. Maybe a story you have lived together more than once. This feeling signifies to you that this person has alchemical keys for you. It is time for you to see and feel the world through their mind in order to better know and express your own. One of the most dangerous yet beautiful things about the closeness of two souls is their ability to become each other for a while, to look at the world through each others eyes. Quietly via osmosis we absorb each others energy as though it’s some kind of innoculation. We are all made of stars so it’s easy to get lost in each other so deeply that we forget where our original constellation begins and ends. I imagine that’s why wisemen say the better you know and love yourself the better your relationships will be. We must know our personal grouping of stars so well that even as we merge with others we know where to come home to.
Then there are those times where there is no chemistry. There is no story. There is no point anymore. Those are the empty times when rules, projections and expectations of the mind have become the binding force. Perhaps they became so loud and overpowering that the chemistry that was once the connective force to begin with lost its voice trying to keep up. Your soul has begun looking in another direction longingly, it always wants to explore synergy. It always wants to grow.
Chemistry Runs Deep
Chemistry reaches into the etheric layer of your being, it is expressing a path that walks in step with our heart. Chemistry signifies we have come across a teacher. It references our highest good and will express that if we let it. The best way to do that is to place no expectations on it and give it no rules. This lets the relationship show you what it is. Relationships are meant to unravel, they are also a game of mirrors, so you can experience yourself as the universe through them quite easily. When you let your relationship unfold, instead of fitting it into the box that others say it should be in, it allows you and that person to love deeper and become closer, as you do not need to play roles for each other. You are beyond that. You can trust the magnets in your heart to show you the who, what, when, where and why and experience a graceful love that is born from the wild beauty of your soul as opposed to the circular movies in your mind.
When we control with too many rules and become greedy with expectations we blind ourselves to the synchronicities, validations, and magical moments the universe is lining up for us. The universe cannot show you the highest form of your relationships when you are projecting onto it. You have got to know by now the universe throws the best surprise parties so don’t bother projecting how you are told relationships need to happen, or how you have observed them. It’s not worth it it’s like you are protecting yourself from a sunny day by wearing a winter jacket.
Control is the enemy of synergy and synchronicity. Control is about trying to label things and predict their behavior in order to feel safe, it is based in ego and a belief that things don’t go well for us. In truth we crave the rush of synergy and synchronicity as deep down we know it is revealing to us the magical person we have forgotten we are.
There is nothing more enchanting and inspiring than seeing the patterns of your soul reflected to you in another human being. Than seeing the universe, something so big, come together in a chorus of synchronicity, in such a precise way, for you to learn how to love. Chemistry runs deep. It is our souls way of getting our attention. When we feel it let it be a lesson in surrender so we can come to know the true purpose of the relationship instead of our empty projections onto it. When we let relationships reveal to us their purpose, uninterrupted, they become more than we could have ever predicted ten times over. It also must be said, to close this piece, that as we settle into this new/old way of being with each other it’s ok if we relapse or waver in our ability to set each other free. We are learning, we are growing and integrating, there will be lapses in judgement, it will be messy, we will feel insecure at times, we will meet our darkness. Integrating truth to the point that we become it takes time, and trial and error, and that’s more than ok, in fact it is to be expected. Accepting the mess, loving your vulnerability and being ok with your shadow creates space for chemistry and love to expand.