About Love.

I have not written much about relationships, probably because when people write and would ask me about them I would just stare blankly and move on to the next letter In fact, I am not proud of this, but (apparently) since my theme this week is honesty, I may have even said at one point: “love is for pussies”. Terrible I know, I have since reformed that paradigm, and opened my heart. I blame being an aries. Anyway, relationships and love are a mystery to me but the following concepts have been making trails in my mind lately and perhaps it will make trails in yours: What is chemistry and what does it mean? What is the best way to approach relationships?

It has occurred to me that we can be in the same relationship with different people our entire lives. Many people do just that, not realizing that their relationship is moving in a direct ratio to their ability to personally expand. I have come to know that chemistry is an important, yet mysterious signal from the soul that lets us know there is an crucial  journey at hand. If we follow it closely and let it unwind and splash within us perhaps we can experience the highest form of that relationship in our lives. It can be a challenge as chemistry changes form as the relationship grows, but if you get still enough and ask it to show itself  it will let you know. For that reason I am inspired to let the relationships in my life be wild, untamed by projections and rules so they can reveal to me their purpose.

Chemistry is a story between two hearts that needs to be played out.

If a karmic story could be a felt moment to moment that feeling would feel like the phenomenon we call chemistry. When people meet, whether it be a friend or more than a friend, hearts collide. When hearts collide they either move right through each other, like passing ghosts, or there is a spark. The spark moves through and like an electrical alarm, it shocks parts of you that you did not know were sleeping. Parts of you that need to grow, or be healed by the medicine that people are to each other.

We are all made of stars

When you feel your heart spark with someone know that you are feeling a story with them, perchance one the two of you wrote a long time ago. Maybe a story you have lived together more than once. This feeling signifies to you that this person has alchemical keys for you. It is time for you to see and feel the world through their mind in order to better know and express your own. One of the most dangerous yet beautiful things about the closeness of two souls is their ability to become each other for a while, to look at the world through each others eyes. Quietly via osmosis we absorb each others energy as though it’s some kind of innoculation. We are all made of stars so it’s easy to get lost in each other so deeply that we forget where our original constellation begins and ends. I imagine that’s why wisemen say the better you know and love yourself the better your relationships will be. We must know our personal grouping of stars so well that even as we merge with others we know where to come home to.

No Chemistry

Then there are those times where there is no chemistry. There is no story. There is no point anymore. Those are the empty times when rules, projections and expectations of the mind have become the binding force. Perhaps they became so loud and overpowering that the chemistry that was once the connective force to begin with lost its voice trying to keep up. Your soul has begun looking in another direction longingly, it always wants to explore synergy. It always wants to grow.

Chemistry Runs Deep

Chemistry reaches into the etheric layer of your being, it is expressing a path that walks in step with our heart. Chemistry signifies we have come across a teacher. It references our highest good and will express that if we let it. The best way to do that is to place no expectations on it and give it no rules. This lets the relationship show you what it is. Relationships are meant to unravel, they are also a game of mirrors, so you can experience yourself as the universe through them quite easily.  When you let your relationship unfold, instead of fitting it into the box that others say it should be in, it allows you and that person to love deeper and become closer, as you do not need to play roles for each other. You are beyond that. You can trust the magnets in your heart to show you the who, what, when, where and why and experience a graceful love that is born from the wild beauty of your soul as opposed to the circular movies in your mind.

Control

When we control with too many rules and become greedy with expectations we blind ourselves to the synchronicities, validations, and magical moments the universe is lining up for us. The universe cannot show you the highest form of your relationships when you are projecting onto it. You have got to know by now the universe throws the best surprise parties so don’t bother projecting how you are told relationships need to happen, or how you have observed them. It’s not worth it it’s like you are protecting yourself from a sunny day by wearing a winter jacket.

Control is the enemy of synergy and synchronicity. Control is about trying to label things and predict their behavior in order to feel safe, it is based in ego and a belief that things don’t go well for us. In truth we crave the rush of synergy and synchronicity as deep down we know it is revealing to us the magical person we have forgotten we are.

There is nothing more enchanting and inspiring than seeing the patterns of your soul reflected to you in another human being. Than seeing the universe, something so big, come together in a chorus of synchronicity, in such a precise way, for you to learn how to love. Chemistry runs deep. It is our souls way of getting our attention.  When we feel it let it be a lesson in surrender so we can come to know the true purpose of the relationship instead of our empty projections onto it. When we let relationships reveal to us their purpose, uninterrupted, they become more than we could have ever predicted ten times over.  It also must be said, to close this piece, that  as we settle into this new/old way of being with each other it’s ok if we relapse or waver in our ability to set each other free. We are learning, we are growing and integrating, there will be lapses in judgement, it will be messy, we will feel insecure at times, we will meet our darkness. Integrating truth to the point that we become it takes time, and trial and error, and that’s more than ok, in fact it is to be expected. Accepting the mess, loving your vulnerability and being ok with your shadow creates space for chemistry and love to expand.

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15 thoughts on “About Love.

  1. Earthly love in my opinion is a warm up for experiencing cosmic and divine love . but the thing is by earthly love i mean unconditional love for another human being , most of the loves that i see are polluted to lust and i dont really count them . some people are in love out of fear , i dont count that either .when you experience the real deal i think the universe is making you ready for understanding higher levels of love . and when i say the real deal it can be truly loving your self also . thank you my dear gigi . awesome post .

    • I’m not a Flamboyant writer but Gigi you sure put in a lot for love – I’m getting ready to ” Remote view the remote viewer” lol Hope you have Good Night Sweet dreams!

  2. Amazing and gentle thought Gigi, and no matter how hard to share your thoughts and feelings on the subject, not only is it worth the wait, but once all is said the universe can step in to acknowledge the reasons for it being a hard subject to share.
    The often most neglected relationship, is the longest one we have with anyone…thy self.
    And of course a true sense of love with worth and ego playing no part, is for some, easier said than done.
    Souls recognise each other, it’s not always the eyes that see or feel the connect/re connection. But to trust in the knowing, and believe in the reason people come into our lives for a reason and go for a reason is all about the lessons on this life plain. The coming back to do un finished love sharing lessons, pastures, is amazing once we let go and trust. Except illusions, and faults, just seek the truth of sharing, in natures good time. Share dreams of sub concious sleeping. Are there flashes of past lives where a soul your with was there? We have glimpses through windows, different light in different places shines like stain glass windows, we need to float at times to see how they reflect differently, we can return back to source, but often we find there’s colours shapes and souls that are deep within us that we recognise and know above all else. So long as we know that it’s not damaging harming or hurting us consciously, then that’s why we know it so well.
    Love is here, the very reason the word comes out, and souls seek it’s meaning, the quest for finding sharing and being…places like this are love. It’s golden and ever presant, wherever you are, if you ask for it to make its self known to you right now, it will.
    But like all the wonders in life, the best things worth having, are worth sharing. For we own nothing, only our own consciousness and way.
    Just by sharing thoughts and our understanding of what has come my way in life so far, the feeling of good it has is the only thing I am asking to come through these words to resonate within you the reader and raise up to the universe, and ground the souls of your feet, deep within mother earths love. That’s where we are forever embeaced and loved.
    Indeed, I often think that one person maybe LO, and another VE, it’s just a question of joining them together.
    Love to you all, all the time.
    Justin.

  3. Gigi,
    You inspire so many, but I sense you have a tendency to fear the true divine inspiration of others because of fear of something you have either experienced or imagined that was hurtful. I could tell you my story, but it would be too long because I have learned to explore so many things…sex, love, lust, abstinence, joy, pain, a broken heart repeatedly, and now retirement at 27. I am 31 now and being still the last four years has brought all of the above tenfold, but I am still searching for what I believe to be real, most call it a fairy tell, but I will prove it exists, even if it is only within. I do not understand my life…I never have, but I have always known that I am going to make a great change that will affect all.

    Yes, because I was hurt in combat and saw many of my closest friends and strangers die horrible deaths far from home, I have had many doubts. But as I am writing this I can feel might heart beating stronger inside of my chest. I feel the vibrations throughout my entire body and know…what I have dreamt will become reality. I know this because it has always been my purpose. I don’t know why I just wrote it, but its true, I see it more now than ever. I love you, for being you and everyone else for being them…LOVE is real and the only answer and I know you know this because you speak about it all the time.

    I could tell you how beautiful you are and my dreams of you and me becoming more, but why…I’m certain you have heard that…so I tell you this, you have never met a man like me and never will unless you seek him. I say this because I know me…shy, but still charismatic. Faithful, loving, strong, and seeking the truth and divine within the dna of my soul. The Heavens created us in their image so why shouldn’t we be like them? You were not created to be alone…life reflects this statement. Have you ever saw a flower in a pot by itself for its entire life. I highly doubt it, because that would mean that all creations wouldn’t be what we are today and we wouldn’t see billions of stars in the night sky.

    Speaking of a star…even though we see one with our naked eyes, we always know there’s an entire galaxy for each STAR we see. As above So below. It is all written in the stars…your lover is here. You just have to let go and fall into his arms, then let life evolve into another journey while creating a seed to carry on and rewrite your signature. You are special, and I don’t care if you have a child by artificially, without sex…you need your seed to carry on your legacy. This world needs more people like us.

    I apologize for not being brief, my heart wouldn’t let me stop.

    Respectfully,

    Kevin Eric Hickland, US Navy, Naval Special Warfare, Retired

  4. What you call Chemistry, I call SEX. For me it has nothing to do with LOVE.

    Currently the view of Osho on the subjects of SEX, LOVE and SAMADHI makes the most sense to me:

    from http://www.wisebeing.com/media/osho/ebooks/osho_ebooks/14-osho%20early%20discourses_includes%20hindi%20translations/from_sex_to_superconsciousness.pdf

    page 31
    “Fundamentally, what we feel as the attraction for sex is not the attraction for sex at all.
    After every act of orgasm, a man feels drained, empty, depressed. He is sorry, with a pinch of heartburn. He thinks of avoiding this practice in the future. So, what is the source of this state of mind? It is because the desire is for something else, and not just for physical gratification.
    Man cannot ordinarily reach the depths of his being that he reaches in the consummation of the sexual act. In the ordinary course of his life, in his daily routine, a man has a variety of experiences – he shops, does business, earns his living – but intercourse reveals the deepest of experiences to him. And this experience has profound religious dimensions: there, man reaches beyond himself; there, he transcends himself.
    Two things happen to him in those depths.
    First, in copulation the ego vanishes. Egolessness is created. For an instant, there is no ”I”; for an instant, one does not remember oneself. Did you know that the ”I” also dissolves completely in the experience of religion, that in religion the ego also dissolves into nothingness? In the sexual act the ego fades away. Orgasm is a state of self-effacement.
    The second thing about the experience of sex is that time is undone for an instant. Timelessness is created. As Jesus Christ has said of samadhi, ”There shall be time no longer.” In orgasm, the sense of time is non-existent. There is no past, no future; there is only the present moment. The present is not a part of time; the present is eternity.
    This is the second reason man is so eager for sex. The craving is not for the body of a woman by a man or vice versa, the passion is for something else: for egolessness, for timelessness.”

    on page 33
    “Those who oppose sex blindly will never be able to appreciate the phenomenon in its proper perspective. They will never be able to analyze the cause of this insatiable desire for sex, of this deep craving for sex. What I wish to emphasize is that this strong and recurring pull toward sex is for the momentary realization of samadhi.
    You can liberate yourself from sex if you can learn to attain to samadhi without sex. If a man who wants an article costing one thousand rupees is shown where one can be had for free, he would not be in his right senses if he were to go to the market to buy it so expensively. If a man can be shown how he can attain the same ecstasy he derives from sex by some other means and in much greater measure, his mind will automatically cease its rush towards sex; his mind will start racing in the other direction.
    Man had his first realization of samadhi in the experience of sex. But sex is a costly affair, a very costly affair indeed. And it does not last for more than a moment; after a momentary climax, we return again to our original position. For a second, we reach towards a different plane of existence; for a second, we climb towards a peak of immense satisfaction. The momentum is towards the pinnacle, but we have hardly taken a step when we fall back to first base. A wave aspires to reach the sky, but it has hardly risen noticeably when it already starts to fall. We are the same. It is for that ecstasy, for that joy, for that realization, that we accumulate energy from time to time and again start the ascent. We almost touch that subtler plane, that higher realm, but again we fall back to our original position, minus a considerable amount of power and energy.”

  5. I see the shift in your pardigm and, while your post was truly insightful and brought to light the true nature of love as ourselves–nothing more, nothing less(though some responders still desire to use their minds to define it)–I would love to hear what was the nature of the pofundity which shifted your paradigm. Just found you, liked what I saw, and will return. Namaste!

  6. Gigi,
    That was awesome. You are such a good writer. Being married 20 years, I have learned more and more how to love myself because only by doing that can I continually come back to the commitment without resentment or judgment of why the partner has changed or why the partner doesn’t seem to like this or that about me. And then the relationship continues and strengthens with the passage of time because there is so much shared together. Especially raising kids together. Now my enjoyment in my 50’s is learning to appreciate the new expanded way of viewing the chemistry of relationships with old family members, work associates, friends, neighbors, friends of the kids, old folks getting older who didn’t used to be old, and new friends , especially new friends developed out of choice. Friends who are spiritual people and who are at a level of consciousness that just feels so right because we are all just looking at mirrors of ourselves and if we are really able to love ourselves, we so quickly can appreciate and love others who reflect the brightest side of our own soul.
    Dwight

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