I love your videos. Can you please speak about how to deal with drama and negativity from other other people? Especially how to act when someone is being directly rude to you?
Thanks in advance,
Thanks for writing me Sarah. I completely hear you on this one. Especially when we are tired, hungry and over-worked.
I just want to start off and say that it is an honour to be love for someone when they have slipped into their darkest patterns. It is a complete, alchemical, transformational gift to be able to hold the presence of love while someone around you is completely lost in their pain. It may be the exact opposite thing you feel like doing, but, do it anyway, love them anyway. This means that when a family member, friend, spouse, or co-worker is acting from a place of disconnection, and pain it is your highest calling to move into your higher perspective and not engage. This ability can take time to cultivate, its not easy holding a space for love and being the bigger person, and to be honest, it’s not supposed to be.
In these circumstances we not only see the persons ego, and pain, but our own, that is why it is so difficult. Becoming love, which feels like: calm, peace, patience, higher perspective, compassion, open space, flexibility etc,, allows you to acknowledge, override, and release your issues while turning into a mirror for the other person to release theirs. When you hold space for someone without engaging it makes their behavior more obvious on a very deep level and they are more likely to realize that certain patterns are more harmful than helpful.
It might not feel very rewarding as you disengage into your higher knowing in the midst of drama. However, it is the most productive, rewarding and of course the most spiritually gratifying thing you can do in a situation like that. You may not be able to do it every time, it is not about being perfect, it is simply becoming aware that you have a choice in how to react and understanding that you can completely shift the energy in a situation through your awareness.
At first this process can feel pointless and your ego may tell you that you are being “disrespected” or “taken advantage” of on some level but in reality no one can disrespect you or take advantage of you, really. Our self respect and self worth are feelings we have about ourselves not something another person can take away. How someone else treats you is not an indicator of who YOU are as a person it is an indicator of who THEY are as a person. Further, what you buy into, and how you perceive how others treat you indicates what you truly believe about yourself. If you sincerely believe that another human being can take away your worth or your ability to respect yourself you are opening yourself up to experiences where that belief is proven to you. You will find yourself a victim time after time until you realize you had “it” in you all along.
Anyway, the best thing to do when you are experiencing negativity from others is to immediately become calm, if you don’t initially feel it get yourself there by lengthening your breathing. Slow your mind, bring it as close to stillness as possible. When you do this you begin changing frequencies or raising your vibrational frequency. As you raise your frequency you begin to see the situation in a different light. You begin to understand more perspectives and even get a sense for a few different timelines that are forming in relationship to the experience you are having. More information becomes available to you and you move into a space where you are so full that any ideas that you are not worthy or completely awesome become non-sense. Dramatic moments are generally dramatic because they are charged with huge amounts of mental and emotional energy. That energy is powerful and when you slow down and bring yourself to love you are able to harness the energy of drama properly. You become an instrument of the highest good, you become love.
Sometimes when we hear “be love” we interpret it as be a “push over” or “put up with stuff that is abusive in order to be positive.” Being love is not about being positive. It is not about ignoring peoples behaviour and accepting individuals that are abusive. Being love is about developing the discipline and knowledge to raise your vibrational frequency in circumstances that are difficult for you in order to ensure that things move forward in the best direction possible. It doesn’t work if we just intellectualize love and then act from what we have decided love is or what we think it should be. Love is felt, and when you feel love within yourself you immediately begin shifting into your highest expression.
When you finally allow yourself to connect with your heart and bring love forward it may tell you to leave a relationship, or move to a new city. You may feel very strongly that you need to become assertive and find the exact words you need to say in order to restore balance. You may find yourself calming down and a new perspective coming forward that allows you to release any stress or tension you are holding. The bottom line is that when you raise your vibrational frequency to be more in line with love than fear the exact behaviour, thought process, or emotion that you need to restore balance to your system will come forward. Love is the vibrational frequency that allows us to create the ultimate homeostasis, when truly anchored in the vibration of love you will say and do the exact things that lead to the best outcome for all involved.
So, now that we have caught onto this, it is our job to hold this space and be love as much as possible. Even when we’re vengeful, or frustrated, or it seems really rewarding to be a jerk. At the end of the day there is no bigger teaching moment than genuinely holding space for someone being absolutely terrible to you. In fact, most people will never see the err in their ways, or how destructive they are until someone around them stops engaging with them. It is only in the disengaging, or refusing to match frequencies that makes us question ourselves. As humans we always want to feel as though we are understood and in a backwards way engaging on the same vibrational level, especially if its negative, makes that individual feel validated. Your matching vibrational response (ie. anger to anger) simply encourages the belief systems within them that caused them to lash out in the first place.
When we disengage and calm ourselves into a loving frequency there is no distraction, there is simply them experiecing the rawness of their own pain. Eventually, if no one spirals into their pain vortex with them they will have no choice but to experience their pain so deeply that they chose to let it go once and for all. Many times it is the genuine experience of our pain/darkness that we finally let it go.